Last May 21, 2013 in Antique, my lolo Titoy passed away at the age of 88 to prostate cancer. I wouldn't say he lost the battle because I know he fought well. I guess he just had enough. It was actually my first time experiencing a death in the family. Someone who I had known for a long time, shared lots of memories with, but weren't really close to as compared to my two other sisters. It was a very sad experience. I saw my parents cry for the first time especially my dad, who cried so hard during lolo's cremation. It was also my first time seeing my tita Eve and my lola Sefa weep to the extreme fullest. That scene was definitely very heartbreaking. Lots of tears were shed as we said our final goodbyes to lolo Titoy. But he's never gone. He's always with us, watching us, wherever we go.
But... Despite the grief, despite the loss, I personally was and am happy. Rather than taking lolo's death as something to be sad about, I took it as a very beautiful blessing in disguise. Very beautiful, yes.
I used to dislike going to Antique so much. It's my dad's hometown and we frequently go there during holidays or a close relative's birthday or just whenever he would feel like it. But after lolo's death, every bit of that dislike just disappeared.
And that's where the blessings in disguise come in. How? We stayed there in Hamtic for a whole week. We went back here to Iloilo the day after his funeral. In that one week, I learned that it's perfectly fine to just be on your iPod instead of the PC for the internet. I somehow learned how to balance my fangirling obligations. The Pacificador family is one huge family and I honestly did not know before who's who. I just knew their faces but not their names and how he/she is related to me or whose son/daughter or sister/brother is he/she. So in that one week, I was able to know their names and distinguish them. Now, the two most memorable things for me: I met my two very handsome nephews and very pretty niece who are the kids of my second cousin, manong Junjun, who is now the new mayor of Hamtic. And I learned to love Hamtic ♥
So right now, just tell me whenever we'll go to Hamtic and I will go with all my heart! Haha! Chos. I now get excited if we have plans to visit there. Really, I kind of just hated it so much before but now? It's all so different. Everything has really changed. My nephews and niece are three reasons because they are just so precious! I just met them last March and as time passed by, due to our frequent trips there, I was able to know them more. They have such beautiful genes, I cry. I dislike kids... Except for the two of them, a 9-year-old and an 11-year-old. That's another reason why I find them so precious. They're probably the first kids I have liked this much. Haha! So adorable.
So... That's it. Ever since that week, last week of May, I have really been so glad for the said changes. New doors opened in my life and for that, I am honestly so thankful. The feeling I get whenever I think or talk about this... *deep sigh* Really. I am so glad. Such a life-changing experience. It is not only the Lord who I should thank, but also my lolo Titoy. His death was sad, but he gave me all these -- things nobody can take away from me. I'm glad that they're not material possessions, but instead an experience that made me learn and realize a lot of things, and happy memories that I'll always treasure and look back to.
